............evidence
of my humanity.
............ ............ ..-by jaxun
... ]|[ am known as
Jackson Albert Riggen, III, to the US Government, and my
parents... ]|[ was cast into
This World on April 25, 1970... ]|[ am in love with
Shelley Harding-Riggen... ]|[ currently reside
in Woodland, California... ]|[ commute 180
miles a day, 4 days a week since August 1993 (with no
radio in my car, on purpose)... ]|[ react violently
to stupidity, especially my own... ]|[ like to hum in
public bathroom stalls to find the resonance, but only
when I know nobody else is around... ]|[ talk to too many
people every day as part of my job (Helpdesk geek)... ]|[ wonder if Jesus
is in the second booth from the left at the Benicia
Bridge Toll Plaza every nite when I'm driving home, and
always say hello just in case... ]|[ sometimes fear
losing everything important to me just when life gets
sweetest... ]|[ suffer from RSI,
various back problems, and self-inflicted high blood
pressure... ]|[ sometimes get
frustrated with the frailty of this vessel in which I am
supposed to navigate life... ]|[ get more
frustrated with my own resistance to doing anything that
could make this vessel a little more comfortable to
inhabit... ]|[ am of the
opinion that, as a race of semi-sentient beings, we are
well on our way to entertaining ourselves to death... ]|[ like the color
blue the most... ]|[ have an interest
in altered states of awareness... ]|[ wonder what
would constitute an UNaltered state of awareness... ]|[ try not to take
myself too seriously, and laugh whenever the Universe
reminds me... ]|[ sit on the board
of directors for a family corporation that oversees the
use and care of farmland right at the mouth of the
Columbia Gorge... ]|[ teach an
Internet class and maintain the website part-time at D-Q University in Davis, CA... ]|[ wonder if the
Buddha will visit me in my garden someday, or if he
already has and I was on the phone with some telephone
sales representative offering a competitive long-distance
plan... ]|[ fear the Force
of Habit as a form of Death (which, ironically, I do not
fear)... ]|[ fear fame as a
form of Hell (having to live 2 lives)... ]|[ only recently
started wearing responsible shoes... ]|[ wonder why I can
never find Thousand Island dressing with bacon flavor any
more... ]|[ drive too fast
and go too long between oil changes... ]|[ heavily dig any
music my drummer-of-a-brother Brandon is involved in
making... ]|[ steadfstly
refuse to buy or install games on my PCs... ]|[ will never buy a
Porche, Benz, or BMW, and hereby give anyone who catches
me driving one permission to tease me mercilessly... ]|[ wonder if I'll
ever go back to school and get a degree, and if so, if I
will ever decide on a major... ]|[ have been known
to cook things in our department microwave that nauseate
my co-workers... sometimes belive that the best thing for
this planet would be an alien invasion that wipes out all
traces of human DNA... ]|[ sometimes skip
my regular morning coffee... ]|[ am formulating a
model of the human psyche using the main characters from
the Simpsons to represent the various elements... ]|[ resist listening
to commercial radio because it makes me want to kill
something... ]|[ have a difficult
time sustaining small-talk... ]|[ have been known
to ask telemarketers what they really want to do with
their lives... ]|[ regularly put
off yardwork in order to train for the Napping Event in
the 2000 Olympics... ]|[ think OJ did
it... ]|[ ask for plastic
bags at the grocery store so I can reuse them, then never
do... ]|[ eat crumbly food
over my keyboard at work knowing the eventual
consequences... ]|[ always consume
too much advil when I take it... ]|[ have never been
arrested for indecent exposure... ]|[ have a friend
who doesn't own or use a single Microsoft product... ]|[ no longer get
annoyed when someone mispronounces my name by adding an
's', even when they've just read it off a piece of
paper... ]|[ am convinced
that humans have a fundamental addiction to drama, and
often go out of their way to create it in their lives... ]|[ plan on being
cremated on top of a funeral pyre, on top of a butte
somehwere in Arizona or New Mexico... ]|[ can understand
my wife's repulsion at the idea of my body going up in
smoke in such a manner... ]|[ have this weird
crease in my fingernail on the middle finger of my right
hand that causes the nail to grow unevenly... ]|[ have large,
detached earlobes... ]|[ don't own a gun,
but probably will eventually (to fight off the
mutants)... ]|[ believe that
some kind of global cataclysm awaits us all in the next
25 years, but decided I'll have kids anyway... ]|[ have come to the
conclusion that we have been given life in order to learn
what it means to be human... ]|[ am perfectly
willing to admit that my favorite word is dung,
and regularly tell co-workers I could go for a big,
steaming bucket of it for lunch... ]|[ have paid for
(and wasted) atleast 2 memberships to a health club... ]|[ shave my own
hair... ]|[ know that HAL,
the name for the computer in 2001 is exactly one letter
off from IBM, but haven't figured out what significance
this has in my life yet... ]|[ actually enjoy
the smell of dead skunk... ]|[ actually like my
boss... ]|[ used to destroy
toys with fire when I was a kid, but never burnt down any
property... ]|[ have paid my
karmic debt for all the things I shoplifted when I was
younger... ]|[ was voted 'Guy
with Cutest Kness' in my graduating class... ]|[ probably have
cancer as a result of breathing the air in the room where
I work... ]|[ believe that a
cure for cancer and other fatal diseases might not
actually be such a good thing for humanity, because we
would lose such a powerful lesson for reaffirming Life
(and something more insidious would invariably take its
place)... ]|[ use a
"nostril auger" to clear them, and can sneeze
at will simply by humming through my nose... ]|[ can adjust the
alignment in my own back and neck, thus saving me
hundreds in chiropractic bills, but which will probably
cost me thousands in physical therapy 10 years from
now... ]|[ have taken
sarcasm to a high art... occasionally quote Monthy Python
skits, and actually did the main part in the Lumberjack
scene in front of my entire highschool at a rally,
complete with bra... ]|[ have perfected
my own Sillywalk, which I have not yet registered with
the Minstry... ]|[ haven't been to
the dentist since 1993 because I hate people digging
around in my mouth (after years of orthodontia)... ]|[ first got high
in a dentist's chair, and developed a taste for morphine
derivatives... ]|[ have been known
to engage in substance abuse, but never entered a 12-step
program... ]|[ once wore a
single pair of pants (and 3 shirts) to work three days a
week for months before expanding my wardrobe... ]|[ have a
persistent tick in the lower lid of my left eye that just
won't go away... ]|[ enjoy oral sex a
great deal (especially the giving part!)... ]|[ hate when I burn
the roof of my mouth and I get those strings of skin
hanging down... ]|[ am perplexed by
the whole Beavis and Butthead phenomenon, especially by
the fact that I find them amusing and repulsive at the
same time... ]|[ used to watch
Star Trek TNG religiously, but probably won't even see
the newest movie until 6 months after it goes to video...
]|[ still haven't
seen all of Jurassic Park... ]|[ have had the
same hoop earring in my left earlobe since 1989... ]|[ have the bad
habit of leaving dishes in the sink until they get
mildewed... ]|[ will hopefully
never have to wear a tie to work on a regular basis ever
again... ]|[ am well aware of
the fact that there really is no "]|[", but
sustain the illusion for appearances anyway... ]|[ have every
intention of keeping this list going, but it may still
stop here...
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