My name is Klapaucius, and I'm a constructor.

So is my buddy, Trurl. But I'm much better than he is, he just thinks he's so great. Here are some funny stories about him:

• Once Trurl made a machine that he said could make anything in "N", but it almost destroyed the entire universe!
• Another of Trurl's machines was so stupid, it thought that two and two was seven, and it tore up a whole village chasing him down and making him admit he was wrong. The stubborn machine got the last word in the argument and then died, which is one of the few times I've seen Trurl able to keep his mouth shut. It earned him quite a deserved reputation!
• I finally gave Trurl the shellacking he deserved, after he hid in a fake Machine to Grant Your Every Wish, to spy on my real Machine to Grant Your Every Wish.
• Trurl made a machine that composes poetry. Here are some of its horrible poems. Trul has more than one screw loose on the subject of that so-called mechanical versifier. That Electronic Bard was responsible for the torment and death of many a poet.
• The tabloids exploited a scientific paper that Trurl and I wrote, as "The Police State Rears Its Ugly Head", after the secret police leaked the files, code numbers 48999/11K/T and 49000/11K/T.
• Trurl's Femfatalatron was unable to satisfy its first customer, who suffered from unrequited amatorial superfixation.