Femfatalatron 1.0 Product Description
The Femfatalatron, from Trurl Labs, is an erotifying
device stochastic, elastic and orgiastic, and with plenty of feedback. Whoever
is placed inside the apparatus instantaneously experiences all the charms,
lures, wiles, winks and witchery of all the fairer sex in the Universe at
once. The femfatalatron operates on a power of forty megamors, with a maximum
attainable efficiency -- given a constant concupiscence coefficient -- of
ninety-six percent, while the system's libidinous lubricity, measured of
course in kilocupids, produces up to six units for every remote-control
caress. This marvelous mechanism, moreover, is equipped with reversible
ardor dampers, omnidirectional consummation amplifiers, absorption philters,
paphian peripherals, and "first-sight" flip-flop circuits, since
Trurl held here to the position of Dr. Yentzicus,
creator of the famous oculo-oscular
feel theory.
There are also all sorts of auxiliary components, like a high-frequency
titillizer, an alternating tantalator, plus an entire set of lecherons and
debaucheraries; on the outside, in a special glass case, are enormous dials,
on which one can carefully follow the course of the whole decaptivation
process. Statistical analysis reveals that the femfatalatron gives positive,
permanent results in ninety-eight cases of unrequited amatorial superfixation
out of a hundred. Includes autolips, aphrodisial philanderoids, and satyriacal
panderynes as standard accessories.