Damn you, Jackson, damn you, damn you, Jackson!
That was on my mind, that filled my mind like a mantra, like a childish
charm for I hated them and was never free of them, was them, and was
going to them now.
In a way.
I was alone, disrupted, in upheaval, but I was never helpless. I might
have been but did not recognize it my definition of helpless being
someone who sat limp and undecided while the waves and fortunes of
this life assailed them like a flood tide and ate them away to nothing.
I may have been a fool. I knew some who thought me so and others who
thought me a clown, but I had my ideas and my determinations and my
conclusions and decisions.
Therefore: I was not helpless.