Perhaps I should have messaged them. A better option would have been to see that they had word of me through an untraceable source. No blame could fall upon them then.
        I had not.
        And perhaps that was odd and unserviceable behavior on my part, I for whom the service had been all for all of the life I cared to remember. But I had acted oddly, uncharacteristically, during these cycles since the severance. I had been changed and had reacted and had changed more. That may have been a fault in me, a lack in me of qualities and strengths which I should have possessed. It may have marked a smallness, some mean, bitter gall grown upon the heart of me I had not known that I possessed.
        For whatever reasons and with whatever justification I had held myself apart from all that I had known.
        I thought that was the way I would survive.
        Something had survived but whether it was I and whether it was a worthy entity and 1 liable to better life upon this planet I could not say.
        Or did not wish to. Did not wish to consider it.