Note: The following document is provided for informational purposes only.
It is meant to illustrate the depravity of the practitioners of the ritual
described therein. Its distribution is not a statement by its distributors
that they support or condone the activities described therein. The distributors
are well aware that anyone who uses or has ever used drugs of any kind,
including alcohol, should be immediately executed for their sins against
God and the State. This is also true of those who have advocated the use
of drugs or alcohol; for example, a particularly unrelenting and popular
pusher is the Pope. "Blood of the Christ," indeed. Somebody ought
to invade Vatican City and arrest that man.
The latest unofficial rule supplement for Cosmic Wimpout
"The game of choice for substance abusers."
- One (1) set of cosmic wimpout dice.
- Sufficient quantities of your favorite controlled substance.
- Paraphenalia necessary to partake of your favorite controlled substance.
Originally, this supplementary set of rules was developed for use with Marijuana
and a water pipe (bong). However, as time passed, other drugs became popular
and the rules still seemed to apply. However, the name is considered a "catchy
phrase" and has been retained, irrespective of the involved substances.
Notes on substances of choice:
Some substances are better than others for use with this game. The more
appealing substances are those with a high LD50 [for obvious reasons]. Another
important consideration is speed of onset of effect. Too long an onset time
seems to make the game pointless. An ideal onset time is the time until
just after your next turn. Thus, LSD is a bad choice. The intensity of effect
is also important. The game will dissolve if the drug is too intense. A
good marker is whether you can figure out how to take your next turn --
or whether you can even remember that you are playing a game. This consideration
pretty much rules out DMT. The following substances are recommended: marijuana,
alcohol, N2O or ether (WARNING: *low* LD50), cocaine, and dried banana peels.
In addition, it is very strongly recommended that all players be using the
The object of the game is to partake of as much of your chosen substance
as possible, within the bounds of sanity and safety.
Before adding the following rules, insure that the standard rules are understood
and agreed upon. Also, insure that the ambiguities in the standard rules
have been ironed out, or at least some method of deciding outcomes of ambiguous
situations is understood -- later in the game this sort of thing might be
Have the controlled substance prepared in such a way as to minimize the
time delay involved in introducing it to your brain when you earn the opportunity
to partake. For example, if you are using joints, have them rolled before
the game starts.
Choose values for the variables o and n found in the rules
below. For a game using marijuana with a bong, suggested values are 500
and 100 respectively.
- Players must take every "hit"* they are
entitled to, but may not take more until the after the end of the game.
This is the most important rule.
- Players must finish their entitled hits before their next turn.
- Players may not miss turns.
- For every n points a player accumulates, that player is entitled
to one hit. A player is only entitled to a hit the first time that multiple
of n is reached (0 is not a multiple of n in this context).
For example, when Jane first reaches n points, she takes a hit. If
on her subsequent turn she were to lose 2 points and then gain them back
later, she would not be eligible for another hit for again reaching n.
- o is the `winning total' as defined by the standard rules.
A player is entitled to a hit for reaching o. This hit is in addition
to any granted by other rules. For example, if o is a multiple of
n, a player takes two hits upon reaching o.
- When a player wins the game (by the standard rules), that player is
entitled to an additional hit for winning.
- Any player who causes damage to the substance or surrounding environment
loses n points, subject to the vote of the other players. For example,
if Dick laughs while taking a bong hit and blows water through the bowl,
he loses n points. Negative total scores are allowed. In the event
of truly monumental damage, the other players may vote to increase the penalty
to a maximum of 3n points. (E.g.: if Dick were to tip over the bong
and spill it on the carpet, he would likely be assessed a very heavy penalty).
This rule does not apply to people who do damage to themselves (e.g.: Dick
would not be assessed a penalty for setting himself on fire unless he caused
smoke damage to those around him).
- Any player who dies in the course of play due to an overdose of the
involved drug automatically loses. Any player who dies in the course of
play for other reasons automatically wins, but need not take any more earned
- Challenges: when a situation arises in which another player's roll
is worth over 50 points (i.e.: not less than 55) and that player may either
stop rolling or continue, then you may challenge that player in either of
The player may refuse any challenge by not rolling. A player may be challenged
by at most one person per role.
- If the player rolls and does not wimp out (on that role), the player
is entitled to a hit. If the player wimps out, you are entitled to a hit.
- If the player rolls and wimps out (on that role), the player is
entitled to a hit. If the player does not wimp out, then you are entitled
to a hit.
- Any player who train wrecks on a turn which would have been worth
more than n points is entitled to a hit.
- Any player who rolls a freight train (5 the same) is entitled to an
additional hit, unless it is also a supernova (just too many points...).
This applies regardless of whether the player wimps out later in the turn.
For example, if n is 100 and Spot rolls a freight train of 5s, he
will be entitled to one hit for the freight train (regardless of later success)
and at least 5 more hits if he doesn't subsequently wimp out. Of course,
you might lose Spot at this point. Recall, however, that a freight train
of sixes doesn't confer any additional points. So, if Spot were to roll
a freight train of sixes he would be entitled to only two hits (one for
winning, one for the freight train).
* Definition of hit: One hit is one instance of imbibing
the relevant substance. This may mean one shot of whisky, one inhalation
from a bong, or whatever else the players may want it to mean. In general,
it is better that the actual amount of a hit not be too defined. That allows
very large hits to be taken at the beginning, and very small toward the
Legalities: The authors of this document are in no way associated with C3
Inc (the producers of Cosmic Wimpout), nor do we know whether C3 would approve
of this document. Cosmic Wimpout is a registered trademark of C3
Inc. For a free subscription to the Cosmic Wimpout Occasional News
Cosmic Wimpout, P.O. Box 3199, Greenfield, MA 01302
It's more than an experience, it's a game!
From: email@example.com (Andrew Gerber)
Subject: Re: Cosmic Wimpout rules supplement
"The November Contest", or "The Bong Game" has been
played on various East Campus and Senior House floors for over 10 years
now. Basically, every night in November at Midnight (starting the night
of Haloween) a similar game has been played with ordinary dice.
Elaborate statistics are tallied (this being MIT) and monthly ranking are
posted; over the last couple of years the month winner has won with ~700
hits on the month.
The rules are simple; roll five dice.
You can continue rolling as long as some dice in your last roll score. If
all 5 dice score you must pick them up and roll again. Your score accrues
from roll to roll.
Three of a kind is 100 * the die (except for 3 1's, which is 1000); single
5's are 50 and single 1's are 100). 5 ones is 5000. Games are played to
5000 points, with a hit every 1000 points.
The first person to go over 5000 "win", but then everyone gets
one last roll to attempt a "come from behind". So in most games,
everyone gets up near 4950, and waits until they get a huge roll or until
someone goes out, and attempts to beat their roll. A normal win is worth
2 extra hits, a come from behind is worth 5.
Documents in hand of some MIT student attest to the fact that this game
has been played since 1978. It originated on 4th West East Campus; moved
to 5th West East Campus in Nov 1984 (my first year on the hall) and remained
there through November 1988. In the past year, with the terminal dullness
of 5W, it moved between 5E and somewhere in Senior House.