did I wish to consider whether my separation from those I had known I upheld
for their protection. That they should not know what had occurred.
I had not assessed. After a lifetime of searching, probing, seeking within my consciousness for the seeds and the wendings, the causations and buddings of my thoughts and my feelings. A lifetime of reasoning and speculating, penetrating ahead and behind not merely to provide for myself but to ensure the safety and then the worth of others' lives. Those who had been dependent on me. I had been their rider.
Unlike some riders I had found myself in the service, and more, in the ultimate position upon the ship Rachella. Rogue riders, independent riders, intermittent riders, took up each job according to whim and desire and reward. But those in the service were commited to it. Selfless that might seem at times but it was not for we sought the satisfaction and rewards of aiding the service and those who sought its aid and that was our primary payment.